Godliness is next to cleanliness

Saw this on the back of the bus in front of me in the traffic, today. Beneath some ads for the forthcoming musical Sound of Music and some Furniture Store's summer sale announcement.

Soap.
Now there's a way to drum up clientelle!
Become religious, it's just like a damn good soapie.
Gotta love the market. Is there a demand? Meet it. There isn't? Well, bloody well create it! What sort of supplier are you anyway?
And just what difference does it make whether the customer really wants the product you're flogging, or whether he just thinks he does? Buys it either way, don't 'e?
What the hell do I care what he's going to do with it?

So, to answer the question on the ad...
No, sir, the Bible is not more relevant than I thought, and certainly less relevant than you thought, if the best you could come up with is EastEnders.
(snare drum... tum, tum, tum, ta-tarum !!! melody... Dah-da, dah-da, dah, dee dah...)

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Anyway, I was reminded of that time (at the outset of telly-crap globalisation) when British film crews were visiting Kazakhstan as consultants on the manufacture of soapies to the newly emerging nation. Hell, with the Soviet yoke shaken off, they weren't going to be kept out of the 21st century.

It wasn't always easy: "No Kazim, you can't have vampires in it, soapies only deal with everyday matters".
- "Yes, so thies is what I say, comrade, in Kazakhstan vampire evreday matter...".

The soapie's debut was by all accounts a great success.
The opening scene showed a woman in labour, yes, giving birth, pretty strong stuff for the Kazakh morality, any way you cut it. It had been explained to them that in this way the birth of their new nation was symbolised as the start of the very first episode.

Not that there were no objections. Among them: - "But comrade, if you want to show new Nation being born you don't show woman having baby, you show Flag flying high!"

Immortal stuff.

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Το πιάσατε, βέβαια, τέτοια σαΐνια που είστε. Την σημαία, ρε, όχι την γυναίκα!

Για την Ελλαδα λοιπόν, προτείνω σαπουνόπερα με ειδικό σύμβουλο τον Λιακό.

Ο Μπάμπης έχει έρθει σε επαφή με την "Ομάδα Ε", αλλά δεν τολμάει να το πεί στην γκόμενα του την Λίτσα, γιατί ξέρει τί καυστική γλώσσα έχει και τί θα του σούρει. Πάνω σε μια στιγμή ευαισθησίας το εμπιστεύεται στην Κική, και αυτό γίνεται αφορμή να γεννηθεί ένας έρωτας μεταξύ τους και η Λίτσα να κινδυνεύει να παραγκωνιστεί. Αλλά θα το δεχθεί έτσι η Λίτσα; Η θα καταφύγει στις Σκοτεινές δυνάμεις για να μη χάσει τον άνδρα της;